Dating is hard. Dating during a pandemic? Even harder. But what about dating after a pandemic? Well, that isn’t easy either. That’s why we reached out to local dating and relationship expert Cora Boyd. We had a drink with her over on our Instagram that you can watch here and find out if the “90/10” rule is really a thing and what her favorite rom-com is. After that, keep reading to learn what else she has to say about Seattle’s dating scene and her advice for those nervous about getting back out there.
What’s your favorite part about your job?
I absolutely love empowering people to realize that there truly is no script when it comes to love and connection — you can create whatever kinds of relationships you want.
The liberation and possibility that I see open up for my clients in their lives when they refocus their energy from dating in a way they think they are “supposed to” to dating in a way that creates the kinds of connections they want to experience….that’s my favorite part 🙂
I also LOVE teaching people to flirt and unleashing an army of flirters into the world to create more magic and sparkle for everyone they come into connection with.
What’s your favorite hidden gem in Seattle?
Zig Zag Cafe by Pike Place
Where are two places you’d take an out-of-town guest?
Ravenna Park for forest magic and Denny Blane for sunbathing. 🙂
What advice would you give to a newcomer to Seattle?
Be willing to be proactive — open up to conversations, compliment strangers, extend invitations, ask around about people’s favorite hidden spots. Seattle may not hold your hand when you first get here, but if you’re willing to contribute some serendipity to the city and look deeper, all of the vibrancy and creativity of this city will open up for you. Also — don’t snooze on going into the forest on a regular basis!
Who or what are 5 Seattle people or organizations more people should know about?
Sofar Sounds, The Rendezvous (my favorite queer-friendly venue), Puckduction (the entertainment production company of Seattle burlesque performer Mx. Pucks A Plenty), Blake Anthony (local rapper and friend of mine), Guillermo Bravo (unisex apparel desinger).
How does Seattle’s LGBTQ+ dating scene rank in terms of other cities?
Seattle is a super LGBTQ+ friendly city and proud of it! Because of the strong queer culture here, it’s an awesome place for queer daters to connect. I’ll take a gander and say it’s one of the top 10 queer dating cities for sure.
What is unique about Seattle’s dating scene in your opinion?
Seattle is known to be one of the “worst” dating scenes in the country…ha! (Moreso for hetero dating).
I’ll be honest — in my five years as a matchmaker and a dating coach, working with people all over the world — I’ve found that most people in most places seem to find fault with the dating scene in their city. So I want to remind people not to worry too much about what everyone else is doing or what the trends are. Statistics don’t matter to the individual, dating is highly personal, you don’t have to follow any sort of rulebook here. It’s really about you consciously participating in creating the kinds of dating experiences YOU want to have.
The main complaint I hear about the dating scene in Seattle is that people aren’t very assertive or direct. So knowing that there are many people who would LOVE to meet someone who isn’t afraid to express interest, so you get to be an example for a receptive audience.
The advantage of this is that if you’re willing to be proactive, friendly, and open is that you get to easily stand out and be incredibly refreshing to others. And you’ll find that people are very receptive to this kind of energy. From that perspective shift, I think Seattle is a fantastic place to date.
After a year of not socializing…people are excited to get out there again but also anxious. Any advice for folks wandering into the dating scene these days?
Remember that everyone else is in the same situation — you are not the only person who feels anxious, and there’s comfort and commonality in that.
1) It’s OK if you feel awkward — awkwardness is part of dating!
2) If you feel nervous, sometimes it can dissolve some anxiety to just name it! Tell people you feel nervous, joke about it together, and let it be a point of connection.
3) ENJOY yourself. After a long stretch of limited live human connection, we are all eager to be in the same space with each other. Don’t forget to enjoy the company of other humans as you wander back into the dating scene, and appreciate what a pleasure it is to get to know new people.