'Like an internet comments section come to life' 😳

'Like an internet comments section come to life' 😳

(📸: Dominique Barni)


Last week we told you about a fascinating new local dating event — The Not Creepy Gathering for People who are Single and Want to Fall in Love. When we asked if anyone wanted to go and report back, Evergrey readers Robbie Barnhart and Dominique Barni signed up to do it.


Robbie made his entrance “fashionably and fashionably late,” he told us, but ran into a pretty big snag as the event kicked off:

I started to realize that I was the only gay guy in the room. Now, having grown up in a small town in the Midwest, this was not a new feeling for me — but rather an old one, an isolating one, and not one I ever thought I’d experience in Seattle. … I had seen several queer women, adorning both the female and male symbols on their name tags. And go fam! But that isn’t my romantic demographic.”

Still, Robbie said, he dug the activities. Particularly the last one, where people got onstage and read statements about what they want in a partner. As people got up and read, “I felt their empowerment,” Robbie said, “and that was the real prize of this event.”

What did Robbie do afterward?

“I retreated back to Capitol Hill to be amongst my people, The Gays™, snuggled up in my bungalow, and took out an Armistead Maupin novel. I didn’t come away empty handed, as I have the satisfaction of putting myself out there and looking my loneliness head on,” he wrote.

“So, my Seattleites, if you happen to know of a tall, dark, and handsome gay man with a dog who might be attracted to a short, stocky, 20 something, flamboyantly homosexual airline pilot, hit a girl up.” ❤

Psst! Before you think this story has a sad ending, here’s a key update. Since we heard from Robbie, we got some good news from Not Creepy event host Jenna Bean Veatch: A new event, The Not-Creepy Gathering for People Who Are Queer and Want to Fall In Love, is happening on May 18. And you can get your tickets here.

“AH! That’s what I neeeeeeed!” Robbie emailed when we told him about the new event. “I just so happen to be off work, too!”

Why did Jenna create the queer event? Because of Robbie, it turns out! He lamented the lack of gay men from the stage at last Friday’s event, and Jenna and the event volunteers heard him loud and clear.

“It is harder for queer people to meet other queer people, because there’s fewer of us,” Jenna said. “We heard [Robbie] at the event, there’s clearly a need for it, and now there’s enough traction to support it.” 😊


Like Robbie, Dominique didn’t find the love of her life at the event. But, she said:

“It was a nice reminder that there are good, kind people in our city who are also single (sometimes I feel like the only one), and that we all walk around with varying levels of emotional armor, but always have the option to set it down and let people in.”

Among the things that impressed her? The sold-out turnout, host Jenna’s upbeat attitude, the “positive affirmations” she saw around the room — like a written note to “Just breathe” — and a writing activity that happened at the beginning, where each person wrote a love letter they’d want to receive, then folded it up and traded with someone, over and over. “The one I ended up with closed with the sweet sentence ‘you mean everything to me.’ Aw!” (That’s her photo up top).

Dominique also loved the closing event, where people talked about what they wanted in a partner:

“It was equal parts terrifying and freeing (vulnerability is tough!), and amazing to see so many folks sharing such a tender part of themselves. Two of my favorites were the woman looking for a relationship like Morticia and Gomez Addams‘, and the gentleman looking for a ‘badass sweetie pie.’”

Thanks a ton to Robbie and Dominique for putting themselves out there and sharing the experience back with all of you. Want to tell us about something interesting you’re doing in the city? Hit reply or email [email protected]. Want to to check out future Not Creepy events? Here’s their calendar of upcoming dates, with more tickets going on sale soon…

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Argosy Ship Canal Tours. Try welding or pilot a tug. Music, food trucks and more. 11am-4 pm Saturday, May 12 @ Ballard’s Seattle Maritime Academy. Learn More ».
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Things got heated. On Wednesday night, housing activists and homeowners gathered with city leaders to talk about a controversial proposal to pass what’s known as a head tax. That tax would affect businesses reeling in at least $20 million a year and is expected to raise $75 million annually for affordable housing and homeless emergency services. But conversation turned tense fast, and was often disrupted by what civics reporter Erica C. Barnett called “an organized mob that showed up with a single goal: To shut down dialogue, create chaos, and prevent people with opposing views from having a voice.” Jason Rantz, a commentator on conservative talk radio, blamed the “revolt” on a structure for taking questions that made some already frustrated people feel like they weren’t being heard.

KOMO has video of the entire meeting, and you can feel the exasperation on all sides. “The elderly man next to me muttered, ‘This is like an internet comments section come to life,’” Evergrey reader Irene Jagla wrote. With such a volatile conversation, this from Erica feels especially true: “Seattle won’t begin to solve its problems with homelessness, inequality, and all the other issues the city is struggling to address unless we can figure out a way to speak to each other without shouting each other down.” 📣 (KOMO, The C Is for Crank)

Adieu, King County. About 104,000 people are leaving King County every year, according to census data. But where do they go after packing their bags? Mostly to Snohomish, Pierce, and — get this — Los Angeles counties, FYI Guy Gene Balk reports.  (The Seattle Times)

‘I feel like my faith is on the line.’ King County’s youth jail is set to be renovated in 2020 — and social justice activists have been fighting against its construction for years. A surprising part of that movement: Religious leaders. “We don’t like to think of Jesus as pissed off ever,” Episcopalian leader and protester Claire West told Crosscut, “but the Christian duty is to ‘name corruption when we see it and name our complicity in it.’” Here’s Crosscut’s story about faith leaders’ role in the movement, and Seattle Rabbi David Basior’s op-ed about why he won’t stop fighting the youth jail at The South Seattle Emerald. This is a huge issue for the city. For an argument in favor of youth detention, check out this column from The Seattle Times’ Danny Westneat. 🙏

Set your alarms. Three-day passes to Bumbershoot, Seattle’s beloved Labor Day weekend music festival, are going on sale today at 12 p.m. Check out the full lineup and grab your tickets here.

Go behind the scenes of Ballard’s working waterfront. Tour the Ship Canal by boat, race in a survival suit, build your own boat, and learn to weld. Learn More ».
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Things to do

Check out this event from our advertiser, Pacific Northwest Ballet.

☀️ PNB presents NEXT STEP: OUTSIDE / IN Pacific Northwest Ballet presents NEXT STEP: OUTSIDE / IN, a one-night-only performance and dance party. Buy before May 7 and your ticket is only $20!


🎙 May 9: Get tips on how volunteering can accelerate your career at the next Impact Hub Lunch + Learn (Pioneer Square)

🐟  May 12: Put the “sea” in Seattle with the whole family at the Harley Marine Seattle Maritime Festival (Lawton Park)

🍻  May 14: Hang out with fellow readers and the fine folks at South Seattle Emerald at our next Evergrey Meetup (Rainier Beach)

Want to partner on your event with us? Here’s how.



🍴  Feast on Dungeness crab (Pioneer Square)
🎶  Kick off the weekend with Cambodian rock ‘n’ roll (Capitol Hill)
👻  Get into the creepy and supernatural at Crypticon (SeaTac)


🎈  Mark Cinco de Mayo with the fam at El Centro de la Raza (Beacon Hill)
🗣  Hear from big thinkers at TEDxUofW (U-District)
🎈  Teach the kids about marine science (U-District)
🗣  Learn about young immigrants’ experiences through art (Columbia City)
🎮  Get geeky at the Indie Game Festival (Queen Anne)
🎟  Check out the brand new Nordic Museum (Ballard)


🍴  Get your nom on at the Taco Libre Showdown (Fremont)
🎈  Make lucky cat hats at the Children’s Day Festival (International District)
🏞  Go on a bike ride, then enjoy a cold beer (Georgetown to Tukwila)
🎈  Welcome Washington’s beautiful apple blossoms (Wenatchee)

Going to one of these? Send us a pic or tag #theevergrey. See more upcoming events (and submit your own) on our events page.


Want to frolic in the (intermittent) sunshine this weekend? If you want to hit the hiking trails, hop on one of the Trailhead Direct shuttles heading to trailheads around the Issaquah Alps. If you’re wanting to stay closer to home, sign up for one of Feet First’s seven walking tours happening in the International District, Central District, and other spots around town.

Planning to go? Be sure to tag us in your photos on Instagram and Twitter using #theevergrey.

Have a great weekend, folks. — The Evergrey

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