😵‍💫 Trouble around the Turkey?

We’re sharing some resources on how to traverse family dynamics this holiday season.

Family gatherings are wonderful, but they can also be stressful. Everyone has an opinion, from how to cook the turkey to which football team is the best to politics, there’s no escaping them. Luckily there are tools to help you have the best Thanksgiving day possible!

1. Manage Expectations: Are you stressed trying to cook the perfect turkey for your mother-in-law? Or maybe you’re hoping your Dad will show up to the gathering? Having high expectations can be a trap, especially when committing to large gatherings. Take time to reflect on individual expectations and take care to observe others instead of reacting to them. (Choosing Therapy)

2. Set Boundaries: Is there an aunt that always asks why you aren’t married? Or an uncle that makes fun of your progressive views? It’s best to set boundaries before you sit at the dinner table as to what you will or won’t engage in. Boundaries can also include social time frames and choosing to stay in a hotel versus with family. (Oscar)

3. Have a plan: Does your sister always remind you how you still haven’t graduated college? Or perhaps your cousin always comments on your weight? In addition to setting boundaries, it’s best to have a plan of action to follow when those boundaries have been crossed. An action plan can look like calling out abusive behaviors, ignoring attempts to disrupt your peace, or excusing yourself to take some time to reset. (Choosing Therapy)

4. Keep yourself & others busy: Do drinks after dinner always leave grandpa lecturing about the “good ol’ days”? Try to not let the festivities become idle if possible. After dinner, while everyone is digesting, suggest going on a walk or breaking out the board games. Keeping people’s attention busy is a great way to avoid awkward conversations. (Care.org)

5. Remember everyone has needs: This one might be a little harder, especially with larger families, but it is helpful to remember that everyone around your dinner table is human and has needs, wants, and desires just like you. It could be beneficial to have everyone share a need they have over the holidays and to help accommodate it! (Oscar)