Wanna sauce up your holiday? Take a trip to Land of the Sweets: The Burlesque Nutcracker. In the sexy remix of the classic Christmas story, we meet some familiar characters: chocolate-bearing Spanish dancers, the Rat King, and the Sugar Plum Fairy — all decked out in glittery nipple pasties and crystal-studded thongs, of course.

The show is bawdy and, most importantly, delightful — there’s bullfighting, human snowflakes getting into snowball fights, the shepherdess undressing while en pointe, an angel on a trapeze, and the Sugar Plum Fairy wakes up in bed with who now?

It’s cheeky, it’s funny, and it’s something you can surprise your adventurous grandma with — we saw at least three of them cheering on the performers. How’s that for a holiday excitement?

As someone behind us said: “Boobs make everything better!”

Got a free night coming up? Let’s help you make some plans…

MONDAY
📽  Watch ‘Love Actually’ and donate your blankets (Ballard)
🎭  Add your high schooler to a production of Princess Bride (Fremont) – thanks, Shana Bestock!

TUESDAY
🕎  Close out Hanukkah with the MeshugaNutcracker (Cinemas)
📚  See this Seattle dad’s amazing Diagon Alley before it’s gone (Ballard)

WEDNESDAY
🐶  Get Santa pics with your pet (Fremont)
⛄️  Meet friends at a holiday party for LGBTQ youth (Capitol Hill)

THURSDAY
📺  Take the fam to cartoon happy hour (Columbia City)
🎨  See wood engravings from around the world (Pioneer Square)

FRIDAY
🌟  Catch the Geminid meteor shower (Up in the sky)
🎭  Celebrate the holidays with drag (Downtown)
😚  Shop and sing at Black & Tan Hall (Hillman City)
🎸  Catch a KEXP benefit show with elves (Capitol Hill)

SATURDAY
👀  Go on an owl prowl (Seward Park)
🎭  Watch Uncle Mike ruin Christmas (University District)

SUNDAY
🛍  Procrastinate at “the absolutely last” holiday market (Fremont)
🎶  Listen to harp music at the conservatory (Capitol Hill)
☺️  Enjoy all the holidays! (❤️)

Going to one of these? Send us a pic! See more upcoming events (and submit your own) on our events page.

A QUICK NOTE… 📝

In our Friday newsletter, we highlighted Cleveland High student Elliott Hernandez Sebastian’s super-thoughtful story about gentrification in South Seattle — but we sent you a broken link! We don’t want you to miss this great read. Check it out in The Cleveland Journal.

Have a good one. — The Evergrey